An Evening's Entertainment with the British Legion (Devon Stylie)

Last night I went to a British Legion evening with my mum.  Mum bought the tickets last week without checking what exactly the evening would entail, we both assumed it would be an evening of military music and remembrance.  Quite nice, why not.  So I dash home from work, shower, pick mum up and get down to the Pavilion.  In we go, lots of legion members milling around, take out seats and start to read the programme.

Hmmm, not quite what we were expecting, still its in aid of a good cause.  First up is Bill Murray and Mariners Away.  A group of men singing sea shanty type songs.  They were in fact quite good, so a good start we decided.

Next was a trio called Moor Music.  Three chaps from Dartmoor, a psychopath on the banjo and two accordion players.  OMG!  Mental or what.  The leader for the group looked like this was his best night out in ages.  Now this guy obviously loved his accordion, actually what is the point of the accordion?  So, the leader decides he wants to do a spot of Dartmoor Step Dancing.  This involves jigging about on a 15" square board.  Off he goes, Jigging around, I thought any minute now he's gonna launch into River Dance and this is going to be great...sadly not.  His groin is right in my eye line, I'm thinking this guy really needs tighter pants as the contents of his trousers were having a fine old time too.  Talk about having a coronary, I was trying not to laugh so much I thought i was going to keel over.  As for mum, I think she was in shock.

After all that excitement it was time to calm it down with a guest appearance...Dad's Army music starts playing and in comes Bill Pertwee, apparently he lives locally.  He must be one of the last surviving few, amazing really.  Bill told us a little story, sadly we only got the punch line as he kept dropping the mic down, I'm sure it was funny whatever it was.

Once Bill had finally departed we were entertained by what I'd call "a pub singer".  A northern lady who tried, and then had the cheek to try and sell us her CDs.  Her first set contained well known 60's songs, she returned later to try and get us all up and singing "Its a Long Way to Tipperary."  I think not.

Interval...thank god!  "shall we leave?" mum says, not a chance, I've worked all day, rushed home, had no tea and am knackered.  Pay back I think. 

Once we're back in our seats the Exeter Pipe & Drums march in.  Good god!  How loud are those pipes?  My ears were ringing.  The bass drum was played by an over excited woman who I swear was drunk, she was prancing all over the place with this huge thing strapped to her chest.  Was a sight to behold.  After a few tunes they marched off.  Only to return for the Drum Head Service.

The end is nigh...A quick Remembrance service with the dreaded bugler. "Few bum notes there, not No1 bugler, that's for sure" mum says.  Then the silence whilst the bugler is pelted with poppies from someone up a ladder.  I know it was serious and solem but all I wanted to is laugh.

If nothing, we did have a laugh, and hopefully the legion made a few quid.  Jethro, Paul Daniels, Joe Pasquale, Canon & Ball...who to go and see next.  We get all the top names in Exmouth, even the Wurzles.


Apologies for any spelling mistakes, spell check won't check!!!!