From ODP to Cleaner

Seven years ago I started my ODP training, little did I know I'd end up a cleaner.The hospital has to be clean, we all know that, but this cleaning regime is verging on OCD.  There is a clean team who visit departments to check on their levels of cleanliness, the daft thing about it is, they announce their visits so everyone goes cleaning mad for a day.  Anyway, it has come to light that the skanky ODPs are letting the department down with their inability to keep their anaesthetic machines clean.  For crying out loud, these are bloody great electrical pieces of kit which don't take kindly to buckets of water being thrown at them.  Plus they keep patients alive, wouldn't look good if someone died because we buggered up the machine through cleaning it.


So, now we've been told of our inabilities we have to clean clean clean.  They want us to clean between cases, disturbing dust which could actually end up in a patient's eye causing infection.  But who cares about patient care, certainly not the Cleaning Nazis and she who rides a broomstick.  And of course we have so much time to be doing this.  I'm not saying the place should be allowed to become filthy but there has to be a limit surely, and there also has to be a proper way of doing it.

I'm sure we all know how to clean, with the correct products and in the correct manner.  Disinfectant and other products are not allowed, just soapy water, which is fine but also shows we're really not that bad.  Now I don't know about you but when cleaning at home I dust from the top and work my way down, finishing with the hoover.  Yesterday I witnessed lots of cleaning followed by HIGH DUSTING, what's the bloody point, you've just cleaned and then covered it all in dust.  I give up I really do.

Because we clean constantly at work, I don't want to do it at home, in fact I'm becoming defiant and refusing to do it.  We will be forced to live in squalor as we can't take anymore.  I shan't change my sheets for weeks and will roll around in dirt and start living like Mr Trebus.  Social Services will take my kids away and i will be able to sue the trust for destroying my life and turning me into a tramp outside of work.  Either that or I'll become so OCD I'll have to wear an NBC suit just to go out in.
FFS!!!!!